side effects and such...

This is, response to chemo side effects, face.

First Chemo appointment:

Doc: "Would you like a prescription for pain killers?"
Me: "Is it suppose to hurt?"
Doc: "eh it's different for everyone. See how the first session goes."

According to the dreaded paperwork, the side effects of chemotherapy happen to about 30-40 percent of the people being administered the drug and boy oh boy did/do I pray to be part of that small populace. But does that mean the chemo isn't working?!

Sitting in that room listening to my doctor offer me pain meds without prompt, made me wish this man was, a crooked, pain selling hack and not try not to think of this pain that might happen.

The first session, nothing. Session number two, I can't taste salt; sounds minor but not when you cook with sea salt, and is the type to always add extra salt which is the last thing I need. Do you see how this son of a bitch invades your life, just so disrespectful!

Session number three, two days ago; hair gone, and now I can feel my bones.

My doctor mentioned something about that. "what?!" I'm pretty sure my Betty Davis Eyes were bulging out of my head like some bugs bunny cartoon.

"I might feel my bones?! Like when my ankles were swollen post surgery?"
"No. This will feel nothing like that, it will feel like it's inside the bone."

How the fuck does he know? Do they survey people to ask how chemo feels? Many  people have this reaction to the drug? Why am I doing this?! I want to go back, I want to run away, I want to go to that commune in Mexico that cures cancer without chemo! You know, the one a friend of a friend of a friend told you, some celebrity (Magic Johnson) got cured by but won't share the information? Yeah that guy, but I can't afford that guy, fuck, I'm going to die because I'm poor!!! If this guy is for real, why are people still dying? Are there that many poor people?

Let's take a break from my brain shall we. Three sessions in, it's nothing like the feeling of my ankle being swollen, post surgery. Shit like this makes it hard to be friends with my doctor.

I had to take a Percocet to go to bed tonight and as soon as it wore off I woke up,  four in the morning. This is not bad at all guys given the situation but shit a girl needed to vent a little bit. Who wants to ever fucking know what it's like to feel your bones?!  Lets just say it doesn't tickle.