Pills and potions... and diets, fucking diets!

BC:  Cold Cure. Nothing more. Sometimes less. 

We all know what happens when you hear that first seasonal sniff in the office;

"Have a hot tottie, that'll take care of it right away."

"pshhh hot tottie my ass! You need to take NyQuil with a hint of horses piss."

 Horses piss?!

"You're both wrong. Your Chakra's aren't aligned, meditate for half hour and have a green juice, it will clear you right up!"

"There's no proven cure for the common cold but I'm going to write you a bunch of prescriptions for drugs, with side effects that are worse than the common cold but I'm talking fast, hoping this white coat is distracting, do you have insurance?"

When I tell someone I'm ill, first, they envision themselves at my funeral (I'm working on whether or not I'm projecting) and then comes the homework. What's the homework? 

The homework is what your friends give you instead of stuffed bears and chocolates. Because who needs stuffed bears and chocolates?! I need a cure and for some reason my friends are, correctly aware that the doctors can't fix it (why didn't anyone tell me?!) so they think now's the time to help me, help myself! I don't want to do the homework but I do, when it seems the doctor doesn't know what the fuck he's gotta do (he doesn't) or you get the slight feeling he's guessing(he is) at which point you want to say fuck it and run into the arms of the holistic leader, until you realize; he's got a God complex, a problem with authority and a taste for the finer meditating carpets in life!

Jesus! can't we get real with cancer?! Can't some things be sacred?! Can we not inundate this world with con artist and everyone with a story or magic cure in a bottle? Can I have a piece of chocolate and not feel like I'm activating this thing in my body?! No. 

Well meaning friends, will share books and diets, that will lead to more links, with books and more diets and pills and potions and toxins -this isn't a Nicki Minaj song- and healers, and shamans and waters and PH levels and alkaline and then you end up in a corner, with a leaf a lettuce, tin foil on your head waiting for Morpheus to come take you far, far away from the Matrix. 

Then you breath. Let's do it together. ahhhhhhhhhh 

This weekend, I ate bread, not white bread -new rule, chuck all your white foods, trust me on that one- and boy was I giving myself shit for it. I gave myself shit for a vegan cookie!!! VEGAN and COOKIE, I weep but these are the times. Today, while I was weighing the nutritional value of my carrot juice versus my mushroom soup, a wise friend stopped by to give some support and kind words.  This friend has unfortunately been in my shoes and she said to me, the wisest words I ever did hear; fuck it, you gotta take all that with a grain of salt, yo! Are you still breathing? -I'm not lying about that white food shit look it up.-  This experience is scary, matter fact they should just name this disease fear, so the doctor can just say; "You've got fear. I don't know how long your gonna have it. I don't know how to fix it but I'm pretty sure it's going to kill you." 

Every one's got a pill, a potion and some advice but navigating this is about knowing what is right for me. I keep waiting for someone to say this one thing works, this will fix it, this will make you better, this will make it go away. The deeper down that rabbit hole I go, the more I'm learning; hot tottie might work for some and NyQuil and horse shit might work for others but me, I get two colds every year, I sleep it off, do a lot of fluids and in two days tops I'm back to tip top shape. EveryBODY is different yo!