treatment...

Taken during treatment. I stay hydrated.

The other day a friend asked "what's treatment like?" Quick walk through for those who are curious but are too afraid to ask. Treatment if you haven't realized -took me sometime- refers to chemotherapy, I think someone was wise enough to realize, no matter how you say chemotherapy, you're still saying chemotherapy.

When I show up for treatment, I must first speak to my doctor, a sadist, who really isn't going to give me any helpful or productive information.

Once I've wrapped the medical probing, before which I've been weighed and asked if I'm in pain a few times, I'm placed in the treatment waiting room. Eventually a nurse will show up to guide me to the infusion area- nurses, are the angels, the saving graces that make this dehumanizing situation in the least bit tolerable-. Once seated in the recliner (oh they fancy), with a chair by it's side for my treatment date, blood is drawn, when the blood work comes back all good; the magic happens. Saline to flush out the vein, while the pharmacy draws up my liquid magic, it shows up and for the next hour to three hours; drip, drip, drip, that's it, that's treatment. Treatment in essence isn't what I imagined chemo would be but at the same time I really never fucking imagined what chemo would be.

Treatment for me sucks, before, during and after, oh shit treatment sucks for me, shocker! No, seriously, the better part of the experience for me is during; I've battled the anxiety of getting there, I've passed the fitness portion and now it's just me, my date and my fellow treatment friends. My treatment friends aren't always upbeat but I understand. My treatment friends sometimes say nothing at all, just smile. I had one creepy treatment friend, stare at my sister and I for so long and weirdly, we had the curtain drawn -who doesn't have a creepy friend?-

I see some of my treatment friends often, some I see from time to time and I try not to think too hard when I don't see one, it's scary with us being in treatment and all. These people if only having shared that space with me once or a few times are friends, we have an immediate understanding, a knowing a feeling, as my friend Denise would say, we're part of a club no one wants to be in. But don't pity my treatment friends and I, we laugh up in there, we have personal TVs, some of us have dates and for those who don't, there's Katrina, the lovely Irish nurse who sings when she speaks. When my treatment friends are done with treatment we smile and tell each other to; be well, have a goodnight, have a good one  and we mean it, at least I know I do. Within minutes of meeting each other, we're already hoping and wishing for the best for one another, not many clubs offer that.